The Eastern Review sits down with one fraternity brother, Steve McDoug, who overcame unthinkable odds to ace a math quiz.

Eastern Review: So I understand you received an A on your most recent math quiz?

Steve McDoug: Hellz yeah son.

ER: What were the circumstances surrounding such an achievement?

McDoug: Well ever since Coop pissed all over half of Delt Mu’s backfiles, I can’t read shit on ‘em. So I called this chick up and she e-mailed me the study guide.

ER: And you proceed to study?

McDoug: Hellz yeah I did! A pledge hooked me up with some Adderall. I cranked up some DMB and went to fucking town on that shit!

ER: Word?

McDoug: Word.

ER: So what did you do following the assessment? Were you confident, excited, worried?

McDoug: Well, since I had to be mostly sober for the quiz, I decided to hit the gym. But I totally forgot it was prime lame-hour in the weight room. Everywhere I looked there were little queermos lifting pussy reps and getting their gay juice on my machines.

ER: I see... Were you overjoyed after receiving the good grade?

McDoug: Yeah son. I went back to the house and Coop was ripping his new piece, Bilbo Bongins. I got high as shit.

ER: Well, once again congrats on the quiz.

McDoug: Later man.