We are infatuated with Valentine’s Day here at The Eastern Review. We love the very idea of the holiday and everything that it symbolizes: love, friendship, naked babies, candy with really tiny writing (seriously, how do they fit it on there?), and of course CRUSHES. For some of us though, Valentine’s Day doesn’t always go according to plan, so we asked readers to send their favorite, most embarrassing Valentine’s Day memories. We printed the best ones here. Enjoy!

So, it was Valentine’s Day, and during last period (my Spanish class) I started feeling this crampy feeling in my stomach. I knew I was on my period, so I thought that the crampy feeling was normal. Well it wasn’t normal. Right as we were conjugating the usted form of the word “bailar” I let out this huge fart. I mean it was huge. It ripped through the hallways and made the walls vibrate. The entire class started laughing, including my crush. I was so embarrassed!

- Cindy, OH

I was at the grocery store with my mom (embarrassing enough right?) shopping for some Valentines Day flowers. I also needed to buy some new tampons because I was running low. Anyway, there was a new display of tampon boxes set up in the form of a pyramid. Well, as I reached out to get one, the entire pyramid of "New Tampax Pads for the Wider Girl" just fell apart right on top of me! Well, it turns out that the video was caught on a security camera. The security guard on shift that night thought it was hilarious and sent it in to America’s Funniest Home Videos. Well guess what—the video aired the same night my CRUSH decided to skip his Lacrosse practice and watch the show. Now he knows I'm a klutz--I am so embarrassed!

- Vanessa, CA

So I am in choir right? I like to sing, sue me. Well one day we were singing that great Valentines Day song, “Jingle Bells” and I started to feel like I had to drop the kids off at the pool. I asked my choir director if I could go to the restroom, but he said to wait until the song was finished. Well guess what—I couldn’t wait. Just as we opened our mouths to finish the phrase “On a one horse open sleigh” a tiny piece of poo flew out my butt, ripped through my jeans and went right into the mouth of the bass singing right behind me who just happened to be my crush. I was so embarrassed!

- Julia, TN

By accident I ripped my leotard during ballet class on Valentines Day. Everyone laughed. I am now at home with a gun in my mouth. Oh fuck it!

- Denise, KN [Ed. note—this letter was sent in by Denise’s friend Kimberly.]