PURCHASE, NY -- Ever wonder what being cool tastes like? That's what Pepsico wants to know; the research and development team at the Pepsico labs has developed a new soda that not only tastes cool, but makes the drinker cool as well. It's called "Pepsi Cool" and it's coming to major stores near you in the future.

"Anyone who drinks this will be cool," said a Pepsi Cool spokesman, Cliff Schmitt. "I can't tell you much about the formula, but what I can reveal is that it is based on the coolness of several famous people and TV and film characters, including Elvis Presley, A.C. Slater of TV's Saved by the Bell, and James Bond -- specifically, the Roger Moore incarnation. We've actually done studies and proven that while Sean Connery may be the best looking Bond, Moore captured more of his Coolalility, a new measure of someone's coolness that we developed."

To test the effectiveness of the drink, one hundred males were given a can of Pepsi Cool and asked to get laid. The results were unbelievable, said one Pepsi Cool researcher. "Every specimen we sent out there tonight blew their load. We implanted penile sensors in these men so we could see if their penis touched a vagina."

As for the taste, testers who have become familiar with the drink have described its taste as "chill" and "gnarly."