Overwhelmed by the new groups appearing at this spring's Activities Fair? Socially awkward to the degree that you're unable to converse with their representatives, and must receive information via computer screen instead? We've prepared a primer to introduce you to all the new going-ons happening on campus this semester.

Western Mongolian Students Association
A splinter group from the pre-existent Mongolian Students Association. Their founders cited differences in aims, activities, and general philosophy from Central and Eastern Mongolians in starting their own group. Also, they were kicked out of the original MSA because they apparently lost the club's credit card and didn't tell anyone for 3 weeks, during which time like $3220 was charged.

1 in 3,728
A coalition of Wash. U. females working to fight the sexual assault perpetuated against 1 in 3,728 male students by the time they graduate.

Students for Policital Correctness
This group declined to produce any written purpose for fear of offending anyone. However, their president assured me that they welcome people of all types, including but not limited to the tolerant, the intolerant, art kids, Neo-Nazis, and the amoral. They are open to discussion regarding the date, time, place, and agenda of their first meeting, and should any member or non-member feel uncomfortable about the idea of a meeting, it can be canceled without delay.

Rob & Steve
As far as we can tell, these guys aren't a student group or anything, they were just sitting at one of the tables.

Dau al Set
A group born out of a early 20th century Spanish art movement, best described as a 'rejection [of] neoutilitarian polygonal geoform, in favor of privileging and celebrating the holistic and primary forms that constitute the spherical approach to understanding large-scale massurrealist constructs.' We have no fucking idea either, but hot women seem to enjoy this group.

Fight Club
Members do not talk about Fight Club. Members do not talk about Fight Club. No experience is necessary, but all new members must fight during the first general meeting. Free pizza on Sundays.

Optimist International, Wash. U. chapter
A local chapter of the international organization. They recently announced a plan of quickly becoming the largest and most successful group on campus. To wit, they purchased a lavish house in nearby Clayton with the help of a risky sub-prime mortgage, which they expect to pay off with stock options from Asian markets and some junk bonds. In addition, they will be holding a coats, hats, and gloves donation for the local homeless population to celebrate the end of winter on February 3rd.

Dog Eaters Club
The manifesto of the Dog Eaters Club is as such: "We seek to liberate dogs from their mortal shells by releasing their souls out to freely roam the earth. We shall do so by ritualistically slitting said dogs' throats. Also, we'll eat them shortly thereafter." Topics of discussion at meetings will include where to find tasty dogs around St. Louis. Be wary: charged discourse may accompany the debate concerning whether or not St. Bernard puppies have the tastiest paws.

Medieval Combat Re-creation for Recreation
Those Belegarth guys are pussies. This club uses real swords to recreate realistic medieval fighting, just like King Arthur and Aragorn. Waiver required. Don't expect to leave with all the body parts you came in with.

Bear Answers
An open forum for TAs to sell test and homework answers to students. Bring your wallet, your schedule, and an open mind! Meets every Friday.

WUSTL Rapture Chapter
Are you prepared for the day when our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ returns, in what is commonly known as Rapture? Probably not. The Rapture Chapter of WashU is devoted to preparing campus for the almost certainly imminent events of the return of God's son. Events include baking muffins for the heretics who will be left behind on Earth, preparing luggage to grab before we're raptured up into Heaven to chill with God, and talking about how it's totally going to happen any day now. Jews are welcome if they want to talk about the Messiah showing up.

The Breakfast Club
From Wikipedia: The Breakfast Club is a 1985 American teen film widely considered as the definitive work in the genre. Written and directed by John Hughes, the storyline follows five teenagers (each representing a different clique in high school) as they spend a Saturday in detention together and come to realize that they are all deeper than their respective stereotypes.