Some people might call me a racist for speaking my mind, but if loving my country and hating kinds of people different than myself is racist, then yeah, I don't mind being called one. I'm going to do what no one else has the balls to, and come right out and say it:

Robots are ruining our country.

They're in our car factories, our space probes, and our robot technology conventions. By 2030, 1 out of every 5 Americans will be a robot. That's a fact. Do you want your little girl to grow up in a nation where she might be bought and sold by robots any day of the week?

Steven Hawking, one of our most respected scientists, is in fact part robot. Movies like Terminators 1-3, The Man in the Iron Mask, and Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey aren't bullshitting: they're going to enslave us soon, if we don't act right now. I don't mean deportation, or jail. I say we take out these slave traders once and for all.

I am so sick of their excuses: '10101010111 011110 1 01010010101 10 1110101 010010110 10111 010111 11011 0101. 10 10 10100111 1101 01001 0101.' Well I say, NO--they're NOT just like us! Our hearts pump blood, theirs electricity. We fill up our womenfolk with sperm, they with oil. How'd you like to see your little girl with a face full of sweet crude? I didn't think so.

Robots have come a long way in the past century. At its beginning, they could barely sit, stay, or roll over. Now, they're writing novels and going back in time to kill Sarah Connor to avoid letting her son become the leader of the human resistance. Am I the only guy scared by this? Am I the only one who realizes that within 3 years, they could be able to ineffectively battle each other on a mediocre TV show?

It's eerily similar to another situation, one in which we did not have the courage to act correctly: women demanded the vote, and we caved and gave it to them. Now we're paying for it, while they're out there voting our jobs away every single day, burning flags and bras and money.

Luckily, we have another chance at redemption, but beware--this one is far more important. If we recognize the wisdom of men like myself, we will live in a robot-free utopia. If we fail to do so, we will be forever enslaved, building their cars, manning their un-roboted space probes, and listlessly battling each other on TV for their amusement.