NEW YORK, NY--American poet Maya Angelou, author of works that have been nominated for the National Book Award and Pultizer prize, admitted to being the 'single shooter' behind John F. Kennedy's 1963 assassination in Dallas, TX. Significantly, the confession indicated that Lee Harvey Oswald was not the killer, as previously determined by government investigation.

Angelou's publicist read a one paragraph statement at a recent press conference:

"I killed JFK, for sure. I definitely did, and this is not just my publicist getting even with me because I gave her an iTunes gift card instead of a Christmas bonus," read the statement, in part. "I repeat: I shot that fucker."

Investigators, historians, and others with intimate knowledge of the fateful afternoon have been dumbfounded, in part because Angelou had long since been ruled out as a suspect, due to the fact that travel documents place her in Egypt on the day of the shooting.

"We had assumed there was no way she'd done it, so it must've been Oswald, but I guess that's why pencils have erasers!" said investigator Michael O'Dell, before playfully nudging me in the ribs with his elbow.

Angelou's statement went on to describe her motive. "I really hated him. One time I asked him for his email address, but he said 'what's an email?' Then I showed him! Inside woman is life, and power, and all that shit."

Upon notification of the confession, the FBI officially declared Lee Harvey Oswald not guilty. Government officials arranged for his corpse to be exhumed and dressed up in a nice suit, so it could be present at a conference and notified of the change.