WASHINGTON D.C – Republicans’ “Leave the Dumb Kids Behind” Act again failed to pass in the House of Representatives yesterday, losing by a vote of 200 to 223. The Act, supported by President Bush, has been blocked by Democrats in various incarnations three times already.

“This is once again a defeat for the American people,” said John Boehner (R), House Minority Leader. “At least, a defeat for the ones who aren’t dumb.” The bill, first introduced in the 2006 legislative session, is a modification to the existing “No Child Left Behind” statute. Under the new law, schools would be allowed to remove the lowest 10% of scores from the testing reports they deliver to the government, effectively allowing them to ignore the dumbest 10 percent of the school.

“Representative Boehner’s an idiot. This is a victory for the American people,” said Nancy Pelosi (D), Speaker of the House, in a press conference held Thursday. “Everyone knows perfectly well that the language that already exists in ‘No Child Left Behind’ leaves plenty of kids behind. There’s no need to modify it at all.”

Pelosi cited the many incentives to push low-performing kids out of school to increase the school’s overall test scores. “Today, in America, schools pressure the dumb kids to drop out. The Republicans want those dumb kids in school, where their test scores won’t mean anything. Do you want your child going to school with a dumb kid? That’s what I thought.”

Pelosi then recited an elaborate limerick, equating Representative Boehner’s last name with a slang term for an erect penis.