In a swift decision today, President Bush vetoed giving change to a homeless man on Capitol Hill, ignoring the decision by Congress (252-183 in the House, 58-42 in the Senate) to do so. This action by the President is another in a series of vetoes by Bush against what a White House spokesperson has called “a barrage of ridiculous spending bills flooding the country.”

The bill came to be when President Bush, walking along Capitol Hill, was accosted by Richard Wheeler, an veteran of the war in Iraq who described himself as “having no fucking legs” and without “a fucking place to sleep”. Wheeler, 23, asked the President to “spare some change.”

In response, the President’s counsel asked that Wheeler formally request a subsidy, albeit one that would take more time than he had expected. “When [President Bush] finally submitted his request for $5.00, we found this to be an excessive amount for such a trivial nature,” said a White House spokesman, “but the bill was sent through to the House appropriations committee, against the President’s wishes.” Bush had officially responded that he was willing to assist the man, but intended to appropriate no more than $0.04 to Wheeler.

The bill passed both houses in under a month, a quick decision for such a grand appropriations bill, only to fall under the President’s hammer of veto. “For the good of our country, we must stop the t’rr’sts, and also we must be fiscally responsible, something those liberal hippie-fags in Congress don’t seem to understand,” Bush stated at a rally on Ohio today. “Do you know how much an 8-ball costs these days? We can’t just hand out appropriations to every bum on the street.” In consensus with the President, Vice President Cheney stated “ngila stenalp eht nehw tneconni eht fo doolp eht knird lliw I.”

The White House’s unwillingness to spend for social programming and still appropriate funds for defense has come under fire from both Democrats and Republicans in Congress. Shortly after his decision to veto the Wheeler bill, he jetted off to Washington to hand a large suitcase with unmarked twenties, fifties and hundreds to General Becker, chief of the top-secret Project Blow Up American Airliners and Blame it on Iran. “His unwillingness to spend a dime on programs to help people, and yet hand over billions of dollars in shady suitcases to people with guns just goes to show that our President is out of touch with the American people, “said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), “I mean, do you know how much blow I could buy with that money, not to mention hookers to snort said blow off the asses of. Its just bad policy.”