Chancellor Wrighton announced today that every location on the Washington University campus will be renamed after “anyone with the last name ‘Danforth,’ really.” This move comes shortly after the newly-erected Student Center was named in honor of some sort of Danforth. The changes are expected to take place gradually, giving students and faculty time to adjust. “We feel that it is important for there to be a period of transition, just to iron out any confusion,” said Wrighton.

The first building to join the Danforth Campus, Danforth Student Center, Danforth Residence Hall, and Danforth Butterfly Garden will be Lopata Hall. Its name will be changed to Danforth Hall in honor of Asa Danforth, an American highway engineer unrelated to Washington University. Chancellor Wrighton said in a speech Saturday that “this is really one of my favorite changes, since it really cuts down on the confusion. Right now we have Lopata Hall and Lopata House. That’s ridiculous. How are students supposed to tell them apart? Renaming Lopata House after Danforth will help clear things up.”

When an audience member noted that the building being renamed is Lopata Hall, and not Lopata House, Wrighton waved his hand dismissively, noting that “in a couple months they’ll both be Danforths anyways.”

Additional Danforths scheduled to be honored with building names include Thomas Danforth, one of the judges at the Salem Witch Trials, John Danforth, former ambassador to the United Nations and current namesake of one or more locations on campus, and Chad Danforth, a character from the Disney movie High School Musical.