This December, airports will be flooded with people flying home so that they can remember all of the horrible times they've had with their families. Here's some tips to use so that you can avoid trouble at the airport:

1. Pack all of your clothing outside of your luggage.
How often do you get off a plane and go to baggage claim, only to find that someone else has taken your bags? These days, many bags look alike, so the way to prevent something like this from happening is to tape or glue all of your clothing to the outside of your bag. That way, you can identify your luggage by the clothing you wear!

2. Leave the kids at home.
Kids are annoying. They cry, complain, and poop all over the place. This winter season, try leaving them at home. Trust us, your kids will have fun! Ever see Home Alone?

3. Book a flight in the middle of the day.
The prevailing knowledge is that the middle of the day usually has the worst flight delays. In turn, many people recommend booking flights towards the beginning of the day. Since this advice has become so popular, it is now once again advantageous to book flights in the middle of the day. (NOTE: Mass applications of this tip may result in delays in the middle of the day, so book your flight accordingly.)

4. Avoid popular airlines.
Planes will be packed with people just as desperate as you to get home, and these suckers will be using the major airlines. To avoid this packing problem, try using an airline other than the following: American, Delta, United, Southwest, US Airways, Jetblue, NWA, TWA, and PanAm.

Instead, try one of the following:

* IntraIdaho Airlines (flights between all major Idaho airports)
* Quincy Air (Tim Quincy, newly licensed private pilot, flies you anywhere in his personal Cessna)
* Fresh Prince Airlines (flights from West Philadelphia Bel Air)
* Hertz (a rental car company)

5. Have fun!
The key to unstressful travel this holiday season is to have fun. Try smoking a fat bowl of ganja about thirty minutes before your flight. TSA employees are known for their exotic collection of indica-sativa hybrids.