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| Student gets high, spends five hours moving shelves in Olin B
Niles' evening began with several bong rips, taken with three other brothers in the living room of an off-campus fraternity house. The group then watched infomercials for Ronco's 'Showtime Compact Rotisserie Cooker' and the 'Magic High Speed Silver Bullet Blender' for an hour, between approximately 7:30 and 8:30 p.m. Before setting off for the Bear's Den, a Bon Appetit on-campus eating establishment, the four decided to continue smoking marijuana, but this time from Zach Ellis' decidedly larger bong. It was at this point that Niles took several significant hits, and became severely impaired. "They passed it to me, and i just got like a ridiculous hit. It wasn't pulling through for them, but I just fucking pulled so hard, it was insane. I coughed really hard right into it and spilled bong water all over my pants. That shit was like 3 weeks old. After that, I can barely remember." In attempting to re-construct the events of the night, Niles realized he probably became separated from his friends en route to the Bear's Den. His next memory is of moving shelves in Olin B at 11:30 p.m. Although initially confused by the course of events, he realized he was enjoying the activity and continued to do so until the library's closing, at 2 a.m.
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DID YOU KNOW? The earth isn't perfectly round; it's shaped more like a mailbox.
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Volume I, Issue VI
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