One dozen she-goats roamed central campus Friday after being released by a disgruntled zoo keeper. University officials responded nonchalantly.

"We're not really too concerned," said Dean of Students Justin Caroll. "Let's just hope they're gone by Monday."

Dean James McCleod mirrored his sentiments. "In the wake of the 9/11 attacks, everyone has gotten so worked up about everything. These are just goats, and the man who let them out just hates his life. Some are calling this an act of bio-terrorism. But I say, if we go all red alert over this thing, then the terrorists have won," he said.

The perpetrator of the crimes is Bill Boggins, 46, a St. Louis native who has kept the goats at the city zoo since he was 14. Boggins was fired from the zoo earlier this week after "not" having sex with them, according to officials.

"Bill Boggins is a fine man," said a zoo official. "But we have a zero tolerance policy here, and we can't have our employees having 'not' sex, or any kind of sex with the animals."

Washington University Police officers have so far counted 8 goats enjoying campus, but have yet to catch one of them. According to Detective Mike Halloway, the goats seem to really enjoy "grass."

"Yeah, These little milk bags really love grass. So once we catch them, we'll probably slap them with a possession charge and this little scandal will melt away with every other drug case we get on campus. Goddamn kids," Halloway said.

In the future, Chancellor Mark Wrighton plans to eat the goats.

"If they're here, they're mine," he said.