ATLANTA, GA—As hordes of media, concerned fans and angry ingrates await the sentencing of NFL quarterback Michael Vick following his guilty plea to dogfighting, fellow athletes and public personalities have stepped up to the plate, providing us with their views vis-a-vis the morality of dogfighting.

O.J. Simpson: Look—I killed somebody. The key part there is the second part of the word somebody: body. Human body. Case closed. I didn’t even own her and they still couldn’t convict. The key thing to remember there is that I ran for 2000 yards in one season, I was in Roots, and I’m famous. Vick isn’t all of those things, but he’s close, he owned them, and they’re just dogs. A horse, yeah, that’s a whole lot bigger, a dinosaur, way more rare, but you can get dogs for free from the pound. Two words: he’s innocent.

Al Sharpton: If a white man wants to fight his dogs, if Murdoch wants FOX to show Paula Jones beating up on Tonya Harding, if the Japanese people want to do their sumo wrestling, if dogs just decide to fight on their own, we’re all okay with that. But if a black man wants to make a little dough and have some fun by giving them a proper place to do it, the PETAs start freaking out! Where is the justice in this double standard?

Mike Tyson: Sun Tzu said the aim of the warrior is to inflict fear. He does this by imposing pain. Imposing his will on someone. I’m a warrior, my boy Vick’s a warrior—are you a warrior? You know how warm blood tastes? You ever eliminate someone’s soul? I did all that, I went there, I know how that is. Sometimes it’s kill or be killed, baby. I have been in a ring with a dog like that…I even fought three dogs at once, but they were little ones…you can’t blame Mike for getting nasty on them and fucking up they asses.