There are plenty of people out there who wish to cultivate an impressive and aesthetically-pleasing bush, but don't know where to start. I'd like to provide all those striving for an upgraded patch of genital hair with an overview of popular styles and techniques needed to 'cash in on your pube stash.'

The Steven Segal - The mullet of pubic designs. Closely trim the upper crotchal regions with an electric beard trimmer, while letting the under-scrotum and grundle hairs thrive. You will achieve a rugged yet sophisticated look that is only enhanced with mousse.

The Wyld Stallyn - A rough n' ready style reminiscent of a young Keanu Reeves. Basically just let your pubes grow indefinitely and use a moderately priced fruit-infused conditioner.

The Afro - Only available for black people.

Mr. Clean - For the perfectionist type. Shave entire undercarriage with a multiple blade safety razor. The more blades the better--a Mach 7 will give you the best feel. Time sexual contact to occur before third day stubble, and do not attempt while intoxicated.

The Powdered Wig - Actually an accessory for the pubic region modeled after the Enlightenment era head fashion. Will give an unmistakable air of dignity to your penis. Available for purchase at any reputable dealer for crotch supplies