Contributors
If YOU would like to contribute to The Eastern Review, please e-mail us: editor@theeasternreview.com.
 Josh Delman is a highly decorated World War I general who decided to settle down and start a humor magazine. When he's not hoarding bananas and delighting the masses, Mr. Delman enjoys slaying dragons, reanimating dead flesh, and building extremely intelligent robots. The New York Times described him as having "an unexpectedly pleasant odor" and the Chicago Sun-Times wrote of him, "[Mr. Delman] is the next Sean Connery." WARNING: Do not bleach. |
 Josh Malina was born Joshua Reid Malina Jr. on August 2nd, 1988 to Joshua Johnson Malina Sr. and Becky Gregory Betty. Jaundiced and underweight, Josh emerged onto earth six months early with a dislocated shoulder and a deviated septum from a botched abortion. Fearing a second attempt on his life, Josh left his parents’ home on August 3rd of that year in the seat of winged chariot. He has been in and out of institutions ever since, his longest stay at the Funny House in Colorado, where he found his sense of humor and co-conspirators. |
 Joey Stromberg is known within circles of important people to be a badass humorist, ethicist, humanist, and renaissance man. He likes his hair short, his oatmeal lumpy, his cars stick-shift, and his women shiksa. In addition to being named one of People Magazine's most 100 beautiful people for 1993-2005 and 2007, he has won Emmys, Tonys, Grammys, Oscars, Nobels, and Pulitzer Prizes for his work. He lists among his goals "bicycling across America, building a perpetual motion machine, memorizing the script of Home Alone, and saving the world." |
 Daniel Weltman’s life was cut tragically short when his attempt to save a school bus full of orphans from crashing into a center for homeless kittens backfired, leaving him, the orphans, and the least resilient kittens dead. In an attempt to avert this, he has come back from the near future to alter events in his past (our present) to prevent the awful happenings in the far future (his future-past). He lives in constant fear of meeting his past self and causing a paradox, and enjoys long walks on the beach. |
 Ethan Stern (male) has become notoriously infamous for his "Backhand Swedish Fall Front Pike Somersault" which he performed with flair in the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona, winning him the gold medal over Corina Ungureanu. He also enjoys speling, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire reruns (he especially likes watching a full episode twice, so that he knows all the answers the second time) and a good calzone. He has been known to have frequent periods of celibacy, broken up biweekly by a good fuck. According to his sister, Ethan is "nice." |
 Other contributors:
Justin Josell
Zach Enloe
Edward Lu
Zach Resnik
Ben Steinberg
Lyndsey Glaze (artwork)
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DID YOU KNOW?
"Economists" say the Canadian dollar is worth more than the American dollar, but that doesn't make it true. That stuff is still as useful as Monopoly money.
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